I’ve told approximately three people that I am starting a blog. All of them wanted to know what I’d write about. I think it’s mentioned a little bit on the first post, but maybe I should explain a little bit more.

When I was a kid, I decided I wanted to adopt because – in all of my heartfelt altruism – giving birth looked way, way, way too painful. I watched “Look who’s talking”, heard what Kirstie Alley said about squeezing something the size of a grapefruit out of a hole the size of a grape, and abandoned any notion of giving birth immediately. I think I was 10 at the time.

Obviously, my philosophy on procreation has changed a bit since that point (or at least I would hope it would). But although my reasons have changed, I’ve always planned on adopting at least most of my kids. (The subject of just how many kids is a topic under debate. I want three kids, and DB wants two. I figured we could negotiate successfully if I started with 4, he started with 2, and we arrived, magically, at 3. Not quite – turns out negotiations don’t work that way when human life is at stake. See what I mean about too much information for total strangers?)

And around October, I started getting this thought into my head: we.must.have.children.now. Actually, having kids yesterday would have been preferable. We’ve been married for almost three years, we’ve traveled all over the place together (I haven’t figured out how to put pictures in, but I will) and darn it, it’s time – let’s rock and roll! So I joined all of these yahoo! groups on adoption, introduced myself, and started to do some real research about agencies and the process and the requirements and the costs. It turns out: adoption isn’t always pretty. It is a bajillion dollar business and, like all businesses, there are good agencies and bad ones. Although some people have glowing reviews of agencies and beautiful children at home, others report stomach-churning stories of thousands of dollars lost, returning sans child. For years, I have been infatuated with the politics and culture of Vietnam specifically and southeast Asia generally, and I even went to work there for a summer to learn firsthand. It seemed natural to want to adopt from Vietnam. But in October, lots of things started happening with the adoption situation in Vietnam that made us think twice about starting the process from there. I joined these groups to learn more about it, and ended up thinking we should hold off for a few months….and now even longer. We have a few non-negotiables in our country search, so we’re exploring other country options, too. We’ve certainly got some time.

So babies? I still have this insane maternal urge, which is funny because I am the least maternal person I know – I can’t cook, I think baking is something that happens when you plop pre-fab cookie dough on a baking sheet lined with foil, and I really, really, really love to sleep. Although we had not planned on having bio children for many reasons (which I will refrain from sharing here – I do have a FEW boundaries), we started to reconsider. One thing that was (a little) important to me was having children close in age to each other. If we had a bump baby first and adopted second, that would certainly take care of the age problem. But we need to wait for a while before we work on bump baby OR adoption, since DB is leaving the country for a few months soon and it is a team experience, this business of expanding a family.

Either way, we’ll be childless for quite some time. I think Little and the cat (who cannot be named because her name is so unique…I’ll call her Fluffy) are relieved!

So is this a child-related blog? Well, it is, because we plan to do it (grow our family in some way) and I’ll record it all here. But it might not happen for a while, and there will not be any exciting news about dossiers, pregnancy tests, home studies, or I-600s, although I’d like to think that we’ll do (at least most of) those things eventually. And I’m not the kind of person who will buy baby things in anticipation of a baby – I just think that would be so painful – waiting and wanting and not really getting there – and in any event, we don’t exactly have the income to do that – so I won’t even have exciting baby things to take pictures of.

Which is why, if this is an adoption blog or a pregnancy blog, it’s a total fraud so far. But at least I’m honest about it! šŸ™‚

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