It occurred to me after writing this:

>>So…what to do? I can drive myself insane with the guilt of buying something made of wood and resources from Africa, manufactured in a place that cost mothers in developing countries their lungs, and starved fish in the ocean of clean water as it was shipped over to my entitled self here in the U.S. (Yeah, this is seriously what I’m thinking.) <<

It bears a striking resemblance to the scene in Good Will Hunting where Matt Damon discusses the merits of working for the NSA.

I’m working on my guilt with the bed. I think we’ve found a solution, which I will post in a bit.