I wrote the post below yesterday evening, then read one PAP’s horrifying adoption story, and then decided to wait for a bit.

DB and I have been among the most conservative in this – we wanted to start a VN adoption in November 2007 and decided to hold off once we heard rumblings of inconsistencies. Adoptions between the U.S. and Vietnam were suspended in 2003 and did not open again until 2006. We knew this, and had hoped that the ethical problems had been addressed; however, in the fall of 2007, something seemed amiss.  We have a very low threshold for ethics (low or high?  It is of primal importance to us) and we were concerned.  The post I wrote highlights the political events from November 2007 – now, but in hindsight, I should have waited to publish it.

I will keep the post private for right now while I figure out what I actually think. Well, what I actually think is that there are serious problems in Vietnam – US adoption. I have thought that for some time now. I had hoped, however, that the problems were being exacerbated on both sides and the situation would quickly resolve.

I still hope that. I just don’t know.

It is every adoptive parent’s nightmare to have to explain to their child that s/he wasn’t truly relinquished. Nothing makes me feel more ill as a prospective parent than to think that our child – a child we love and raise as our own – was coerced away from his or her birthmother. That that mother would never have relinquished her child had she been given the choice.

Choice is such a difficult word to use in this situation. In the last post, I wrote that choice is a social and cultural construction. I still agree with that, but I also think it’s more nuanced than that. The fact of the matter is that there is a lot of gray in the black-and-white we’d prefer to see.

When I have some time this afternoon, I will re-edit the post and make it public. It’s not that I’m a wonderful source of knowledge on this topic, but I have done a lot of research and it took me a long time to follow what was happening. Maybe there are others in our position who have been planning to adopt from Vietnam, but are not at the point where they are joining groups and doing research. I get a lot of hits per day about the political situation in U.S. – Vietnam intercountry adoption.

In the meantime, if you haven’t read the article below, I’d suggest reading it (linked below).