I thought my last comment on the last post deserved some further attention.

Attention, Bad Guys

Please refrain from committing any crimes between the hours of 5 pm on Friday and 8:00 am on Monday. Further, it would be best if you did illegal things during business hours of the week:

Monday – Friday, 8:00 am – 5:00 pm

Otherwise, you are cramping our style. Those who work for the federal government appreciate full, unadulterated weekends. It is not in your best interest to interrupt their Saturdays.

If you are looking to rob a bank: This is ESPECIALLY true for you. If you want to rob a bank, the *best* day to do so is MONDAY. Got it? No more Friday bull$hit. Bad-guy-finders can locate you a hell of a lot more easily on Tuesday than on Saturday.

Thank you for your attention to this matter. My husband and I had other plans this weekend. They did not include dealing with you.

**For some reason, bank robbers always rob banks on Fridays. It is so obnoxious. DH is not a bank-robber-investigator but he has always said that that squad would be the most annoying one to be on, since banks get robbed all the time and it’s usually on Fridays.

P.S. If you think you’re going to be arrested soon, please sleep fully clothed. Most arrests take place at the crack of dawn, and no one wants to see your crack.

Yours truly,

spouse of stolen vacation day.