Thanks for your kind comments below.  🙂  I was kind of kidding about the “effusive” request – ha! – but I appreciated the kind comments nonetheless!!!

So just an update on my stomach at 8 weeks, 3 days:

# of times puking:  lost count a long time ago

# of times waking up through the night to vomit, and actually completing the act:  three

# of times puking with the Unisom/B6 cocktail:  1

So as you might be able to see, the cocktail is doing a splendid job.  There was one very sad moment this weekend when the stomach just…couldn’t hold back, but I attribute it to a) DB, and b) stupid decisions, so I am going to discount it and call the Unisom/B6 a success.

See, I was really CRAVING (again, rarely have actual cravings, so this was monumental) a pizza that comes from this specific place about 35 minutes away from our house.  High maintenance much?  Yes.  It has potato, chives, some delicious cheese, some sort of crunchy vegetable, and some fresh spces on it.  Oh, it is delicious.

It just so happened that DB was going to help his friend – who lives not FIVE MINUTES! from this restaurant – with his car brakes, so I decided that night would be the perfect night to act on my craving.  (Ie, convenience…)  So I ordered it, and they came back to our place to eat together.

The only issue is that this pizza is no longer on the menu at this restaurant.  It’s one of those yuppy-type places that has a rotating menu, and this thing way rotated off of it, like, a year ago.  But she said she could make it.  I emphasized to her that it could NOT have bacon on it – I am allergic to bacon, and I knew the original recipe had bacon on it.  She repeated the order.  I thought we were good to go.

So the guys come back, bringing my WAY OVERANTICIPATED pizza (I mean, there is no pizza in the world that was as eagerly expected as this sucker – seriously), and I take a bite….and notice…EEK!  Bacon!!  Seriously?!?!?

Now the guy who came over for dinner is single, and really probably uneducated in the ways of the emotional female, and to my credit, I really tried to hold it together, but NOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo…bacon (!!)  DB tried to tell me to pick it off, but I am really allergic to it.  Anaphylactically, which means that each additional exposure yields a worse response (so the remants of where it got picked off = problem).  And I cannot quite imagine the impact of an epi-pen, IV steroids, and IV benedryl on an 8-week old fetus…even if every possible totally irrational thought in my head agreed with him.  (Note that I said it was irrational…)

I resisted the urge to cry.  Because although I am surprisingly not as emotional as I expected to be, this stupid pizza was the only thing I could contemplate eating, and it would take DB over an hour to get a new one (and had his friend not been here….yes, I JUST MIGHT have asked him to go get a new one.  I know.  I am PATHETIC!)

So anyway, I compromised with myself (this is all silently, of course – don’t you silently compromise with yourselves?  Tell me you do) and decided that pad thai (available up the street) was a suitable replacement.

Except that once it was in front of me, it definitely wasn’t.

And then I had a serious aversion to it.

I tried everything to make my stomach less reactive, including, but not limited to, pleading and prayer and petitioning God, because DB’s friend was STILL IN MY LIVING ROOM and I am not a quiet puker.

God agreed with me.  I did not throw up when he was here.

But once he left, I was writhing with the fury of insane  stomach acid, and we were out of Tums, and I was *not* going to take Zantac, and DB decided that the remedy his 92-year-old grandmother uses – baking soda and water – would be a perfect alternative to Tums.

And I know you are probably not still reading this, because it’s really not all that interesting, but do you know what Arm & Hammer + water tastes like?

Have you ever had a colonoscopy?

I have.  Yes, I have.  I’m not old, but I have old people problems, and I’ve had one.  And you have to drink this HORRIBLE stuff to clean out the colon – called, curiously, “GoLytely” (there is nothing light about it) and it tastes like…shit.

Baking soda water tastes *just* like GoLytely.

I couldn’t do it.

DB said, “Just do it!  Plug your nose!  Just drop it down the hatch!  Pretend it’s a shot!”

And, in what could be considered a TOTALLY MORONIC move by me, I did.

That stuff came back up faster than I could EVER have imagined.  That, plus everything I had eaten in the previous 7 hours.

Afterward, I found out that sodium bicarbonate (aka baking soda) is contraindicated in pregnancy.

Good to know. Apparently my stomach already did.

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