I decided to check back here after not even looking at the site, or the stats, for 7 (no, 6 , per the date on that previous post…sorry) years, after receiving an email from someone who had pulled the molar pregnancy post off the blog.  But now that I have figured out my password and have logged in to see the traffic, I can see that this blog still gets a reasonable amount of traffic on two posts:  the ones about molar pregnancy and the one about cleaning up spilled detergent.  (The rest are verbal (keyboard?) diarrhea.  I am appalled.)

I wanted to update anyone perusing this site for the former concern.  I wrote that material when I was at a very hopeless point in our family-growing journey.  It was hard to lose a baby so loved and so wanted.  But I can tell you, now, that we came out on the other side stronger and better as parents.  Our loss made us appreciate parenthood when it finally happened. When our oldest had colic, we took it in stride because we were delighted just to be parents.  Screaming in a restaurant?  We laughed.

We have two kids.  They are the light of our lives.  They are now 7 and 4, and they are best friends.  We have moved around the country with them, we will continue to move around the country for the next several years, and we are a tight-knit little family.

Does it mean that I don’t look at children who were born at precisely the time that my child who we lost would have been born, and wonder?  Of course I have a twinge of wonder every so often.  But I wouldn’t have the two miracles that I have today, and I cherish them with every fiber of my being.  They are perfect.  They are gifts.

A molar pregnancy is a terrible pregnancy outcome.  If you are here because you are dealing with it, I am so, so, so sorry for your loss.  Take the time to grieve and mourn because it is a piercing, seemingly relentless grief.  But then take heart.  Things will get better and you will be stronger for it.

Best wishes to you.

P.S.  If you are looking for passwords to this blog, I have to tell you: I had to look them up myself!  Really, it’s been that long.  And there is nothing good back there anyway…verbal diarrhea, I tell you.  Really.